"22...28...22...28..."
Sunday, January 30, 2005
 
Is this how our fore-fathers felt?
http://rosebaghdad.blogspot.com/2005/01/i-did-it-i-voted.html#comments


Friday, January 28, 2005
 
This man is slowly entering my little Matt Damon fantasy world and trying to push him aside. It won't happen Karl, I may think you are incredibly hot with that scruff and when you have dark eyes, but Matt will always be #1 on my screen saver. However, I will place Bourne Supremacy at the top of my list of movies with beautiful boys. You and him together? I have tag team ideas forming in my head as we speak.  Posted by Hello

Thursday, January 27, 2005
 
PS........ Below
All photos were taken by my friend Jenn
You can see her other work (all g-rate) at
http://doyourealize.my-expressions.com/

Thanks Jen!!

 
Which is better? Light? Posted by Hello


 
Or Dark? With the cuff's being the center focus? Posted by Hello

 
Somedays.. I do like my ass. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
 
News Flash.... Jack in the Box is hiring Comedians!
Drive thru window.. In the rain...

"I'll have a #5, with curly fries and a Dr. Pepper"
"Did you want any sauce?"
"Lots of Ranch"
"For here or to go?"
"To go." Huh? Did I really just say that.. to a drive thru speaker?

Thursday, January 20, 2005
 
Too old for this shit??
Last night I did something that I haven't done in over 5 years. Some think it's dirty, some that it's adolescent and still some swear by it; but last night I had to join the ranks of the Do-ers. I think I've blogged about this before, but ladies, you know those days.. the ones where your skin doesn't fit right? When everything is a pounding in your head, all voices are nails on the chalk board, every comment made to you is the wrong one and absolutely no one around you can possibly get even the most minute detail right. And men, those days when you dare NOT make mention regarding her pants fitting a bit tighter, being absolutely excited that she's sending you out for ice cream just to get out of the house, those days when you wish YOU could hide in a closet because stuffing her in one could pose castration to your being. Yes. PMS.
But not garden variety Prozac will take care of it PMS. It takes a bit more.
Last night, in the middle of an extremely heated card game with Raven and Hubby I made a choice. I am not competitive by nature. I like to win, but generally only stick to activities where I know I can. I don't enter Karoake contests because I hate being judged, and I rarely audition for anything because I realize there are many other out there with more talent than I. However, Phase 10 is a card game that gets my ire up. And my Hubby thinks its so funny to see me get angry, that he incites it. But this was a dark day. After being unable to harness the need to chuck a half eatten gummy bear at my husband's head, I glared at Raven and told her we are going to the garage.
I stepped in, pulled the baggy out of my pocket, and inhaled. Sweet release. Raven's eye's were laughing at me, I don't think she understood the intensity from which my need came. As I said before.. OVER 5 years. I sparked it, I inhaled deeply, held my breath, and passed the joint to her. Back and forth 3 times. And I breathed again. Giggling already we returned inside to the table and the game. Hubby didn't provoke me much after that. I don't know if it was the pot which calmed me so that I didn't notice his jabs, or if he finally understood that I wasn't laughing with him, but I didn't want to hit him anymore.
Instead, I sat back giggling at my cards. Memories rolled back with the first real wave of the buzz. The warmth that encompasses my body from toes up to head. The thud of my heart beat in my ears and chest. The tingle of my finger tips. The heaviness of my eyes. The sharp smell that still lingered in my nostrils. And the deep even breathing that I knew would ensure a good night's rest.
I woke this morning feeling so peaceful yet alert. I knew my aftermath. Red dry eyes blinking, yes. Scratchy throat in need of water, yes. But when I bent and twisted to greet the morning with my first move stretches, I screamed. Now, it has been over 5 years. And I was quite a bit younger during that month when I was a regular user. But I have no recollection of body freezing back ache muscle spasms being part of the aftermath. And my old ass was late to work, cause I couldn't roll outta bed.
Maybe PMS Pot shouldn't be given to women after age.... 27?

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 
Then and Now....
Things I said in my early 20's wild girl days.. that have new meaning now...

"Nice girls share with everyone"
Then: *wink wink* I'm a slut
Now: Trying to get my 3 yr old share her toy with the other kids


"You have such big feet"
Then: I'm interested in what those feet mean in reference to your cock size
Now: You are growing so fast that I have to buy you new shoes again.


"Where did the underwear go?"
Then: I gotta get out of here, where did we take my panties off at? How did they get up there?
Now: My daughter had a potty accident, and thinks she will get in trouble for it, so she has once again hidden the soiled panties and we get to play follow the smell.


"Here's the deal..."
Then: I might decide to give you sex, but if I do, I will reserve the rights to call it off at any indication that you have a small dick, can't kiss, don't know where my clit is, won't perform oral Or if I deem you too drunk to be of any use.
Now: I will lay down a set of rules and be a hard core mom-bitch, giving you choices that seem fair to me. To which you will pick all choices and do whatever you damn well please anyway because you are my baby and you know it.


" Let me check your pants "
Then : Need to see if you have anything worth it in there.. cause you say you are hard, but I dont feel anything through your jeans.
Now: I smell something foul and need to see if you have gas or poopy pants.

 
Shame on you...
Valentine's Day is right around the corner... and my wedding anniversary. Now my wonderful hubby recently has been under the "Let's buy something big for us and call it a gift" kick. Granted, the couches we just bought were the ones I had fallen in love with and if that is to be my Valentine's Day gift then so be it. But I thought I'd at least send him a bit of inspiration, cause anniversary gifts are different than Valentine's. Sort of a..."Hey look! I'm sending you pics of hot chicks in Corsets and such from Fredericks. Aren't I a nice wife to send you pics of half naked hot women. And geez.. that corset looks like it's my size. How fun huh?".
Now I'm a busty woman. I am not afraid of my 36DD, it just means that often I have to slide to the plus sizes on some items to accomodate. I browse the intimate apparell and the inner/outwear corsets and find a few items that definately catch my interest. One item says it has my size available, but the model wearing it is about 4 cups short. Thinking perhaps they have an example in the larger sizes perhaps.. I click on the link to the plus sizes to check it out. Other than bust, I'm not a plus size woman. But there are plenty of women out there who are, and who are proud of it. The women who are confident in themselves and feel sexy because they are. These are the women who DO wear plus size corsets to accentuate their god given curves. And staring back at me, on the screen, in the plus size items, were the EXACT same models merely indicating that "this corset" comes in the larger sizes. But it doesn't give us the slightest idea as to how it will look. I can promise you, that my DD are gonna look a lot different in that wrap of flesh molding fabric than her A cup.
So, why can't they have plus size models, modeling the plus size corsets? Fine Fine.. you men with issues, who regularly have the catalogue mailed to your home because you're too frigid to go ahead and order Playboy or Penthouse, and Frederick's Catalogue is free and almost naked; I understand that most of you can't handle seeing anything but a perfectly airbrushed model in the pages. But just don't turn to the back. Or don't click on the plus-size pages. You have to admit, it's a bit daunting to have to buy a size that will fit you, while staring at it on a much tinier woman. So, Shame on you Frederick's. I love your corsets, but dislike your making us think that a corset will look like THAT on all of us.

PS... Honey.. I want the blue one.

Thursday, January 13, 2005
 
Overload...
Perhaps I've been dirty talking my friends too often lately. She was telling me that she was thinking about getting a dog.. and I had ever intention of asking her "when are you getting a new puppy." Magically.. instead of pushing the pp on the right side of the keyboard my finger stroked the SS on the far left of the keyboard. Which prompted my friend to ask what I thought was wrong with the one she currently had. Not one to miss an opprotunity.. "I'm not sure.. perhaps I need to take some up close and personal analysis to find out."



Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 
Turn about is fair play...
Hubby's birthday is this weekend.. It's only fair to return the favor.. Don't you agree?

 
Inner dialogue will be italicized.... inner singing.. will be bold...
"No, I don't know why they drove the damn forklift over the same muddy area for the second day in a row.. I just need you guys to come pull them out again.. for the second day in a row.." *sigh*.. "Waawawawa waawa waaaa." "No, I understand you can't be out to the site for a few hours, I have a crane on it's way to finish stacking the houses.. OUT of the mud" "Wawaawaaawaw awawa awawaw." "I don't think the crane company is equiped to strap on *hee hee I said strap on in an everyday conversation* and pick up a reach lift properly, my guys will just have to wait for you. Thanks.. Bye."
Jeezzz.. I know I've got idiots working round me lady.. but in my defense.. I didnt hire them.. Aww.. Dad's in a wheel chair at the park playing basketball with his son.. That's sweet. "I'm holding out for Hero till the morning light.. He's gotta be.." Uh oh.. Ball got stuck in hoop. Son is same height as dad sitting in wheel chair. DO NOT LAUGH! It's NOT polite to laugh. I hope someone helps them..." Doo doo doo DOOOOOOO.... Threw the wind and chill and the rain.. and the storm and flooooo---ooodd.. I can feel his approach.. "Ha! holding out for a hero.. No! Do NOT look back in the mirror to see if Dad has figured out how to get the ball down. He's holding out for hero.. GEEEZZ Carrie.. that was NOT politically correct.. or even funny. "Hello?".. "Yeah rain made it into the diesel tank.. we need you to pu...." awwww.. cute couple walking their baby in the stroller.. how sweet.. Taking a walk in the sunshine.. Baby and mommy and Dadd.... Uh.. Wait a minute.. No.. That's not daddy.. that's Aunt Steve. Wow.. Okay then.. Cute little group though.. great fashion sense.. I think the baby's outfit costs more than mine...hmmm.. "Okay cool.. I'll make sure the foreman is on site when you get there.".....What's for lunch? "Well yeah.. I need you to pump OUT the tank.. then Re-fill it with diesel so I can have a working forklift"...Once we drag it outta the mud again.. "Yeah, well.. they are supposed to have it un-stuck by the end of today and we are basically out of fuel"...Gawd... didn't realize this industry had such smooth flowing gossip mills. Thinking of smooth.. Oooohh.. He's cute... pull up just a bit more to peek in the window.. Inch by slow inch... OH CRAP.. HE LOOKED.. Look past him.. you weren't looking at him but at his oh so interesting rearview window dangly.. which is... Ah. yep.. hand cuffs.. Look straight ahead and pretend it was a seizure. "Okay cool... call me if my foreman can't be found on site." This lady needs to move out of my way.. Outta my way lady.. just get outta my way.. I've got important shit to do today.. HA!.. I should never attempt to write my own music.... I used to write very bad poetry in high school. It seemed so good back then.. and now I read it.. and other high schooler's poetry.. and it all seems so.. I LOVE THIS SONG!! "I've seen Fire and I've seen rain.. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end... I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.. yeahh.. but I always thought that I'd see you again.." God that song brings back memories.. I remember being in the bar and... Huh? Wow.. that sign holder is happy. Well of course he is.. he's got a sign for $1.50 dry cleaning. Who the hell wouldn't be happy about that.. okay.. now that's going a bit too far.. Smile wave. But I don't think the sign is meant to be used as a guitar.. Kinda blocking the $1.50 there bud.. Yeah.. need to move your hand... and hey.. don't look in my car.. Don't look at me ... wha.. what are you doing?? Smile and wave at me..? Hmmm... I don't think I know him.. Okay.. now I'm staring.. and squinting.. I need my glasses.. no sign guy.. I'm not checking you out.. I'm trying to see if I know you or not.. okay.. well I guess technically i am checking you out.. but not cause I think you're cute.. not that you aren't.. shit.. I just offended someone in my own brain. I'm on a freakin role today.. Stick with the music.. It's so much safer than your own personal thoughts...


Tuesday, January 11, 2005
 
Excuses...
I just looked at my blog (for the 5th time today), And I realized I haven't blogged a thing since last week (which I knew already). I take no blame in the non-blogging (I am completely at fault). I have started multiple posts regularly (in my head which ADD quickly replaces with thoughts of puppies and cheeseburgers), Yet blogger and I seem to be dissagreeing (it refuses to read my mind and automatically post my thoughts). But I am here (often staring at a blank page willing my fingers and brain to connect), and I am just overflowing with (bullshit) wonderful things to chat about. (if I could get any of those thoughts to remain in place long enough for me to put them down.... Now.. WHERE did I put my medication?)

Monday, January 03, 2005
 
More fun??
I had an incredible New Year's Eve with hubby. One of those things that only happen to the horribly sorrid and slutty like myself. And I was going to tell you all about the naughty things I did in the bar, in the bathroom at the bar and in the alley behind the bar...(and I probably will later)
But I just finished watching Part I of season six for Sex in the City. It's the final season, the total culmination of an awakening in my life. My love for shoes, clothes, views on men.. blah blah blah..
At the beginning of the DVD marathon I was beginning to show about 4 inches of my true color.. when one of my best friends, Rachel, came over to fix it for me. I'm blonde again, and getting used to it again.
But you watch Sex in the City and you think about the fabulous party dresses and not so fabulous situations they fictionally dealt with. And you start to think about your life and what is and isn't fabulous about it.
There is an old saying that how you begin your New Year.. midnight and such.. is a fore-telling of how the rest of your year will go. I spent New Year's Eve with my wonderful hubby and a few friends.. Going down on another woman and ending up in the alleyway with her and my husband doing horribly dirty things. And I, for a second thought.. here starts my year of wild crazy situations and new boundaries. I kept thinking what would be different, how many things would we try and how different would our lives and our relationship be at Midnight next December 31st. And then I took my jeans out of the washer machine, bent down to send them for a hot spin... and whacked my head on the edge of the dryer.
So yeah, I made out with another woman, And helped my husband fuck her behind a bar, And I got rid of my natural roots, And refreshed my fabulous mind for another fabulous year.... And still... I'm myself. And oddly, I'm much less at odds with the bruise on my forehead, than I am with the bruises on my knees.



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